Dad refuses to pay $100k for his youngest daughter to have a 'princess wedding,' blames the in-laws for pressuring a frivolous formal event: 'The in-laws want a big splash'

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Jesse Kessenheimer • Writer and Editor
Mar 29, 2025 3:00 PM EDT

Having a wedding like they do in the movies is no simple task. Flowers, cake, decor, chair rentals, catering, bartenders, and a venue to host it all is just scratching the surface of the carnage that a parent's bank account faces when their child agrees to marry their beloved. Arguably, any parental contribution to the event is much appreciated, but sometimes the bride and groom have a huge ask that needs to be run by the big bosses of the family. It's rarer, however, to have in-laws pushing for a showy event, pushing the limits of what their future extended family can afford. 

No parent should be taking out a personal loan to bankroll their kid's wedding… 

… Which is why this frugal dad drew the line in the sand with his pushy future in-laws, even when his daughter couldn't muster the courage to stand up to them. 

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  • Despite getting married young, my husband and I paid out of pocket for our entire wedding. Weighing in at about $7k for the entire event for 100+ people, we still felt like we got robbed by our vendors and each bill sent us over the moon with financial stress. So just the idea of having a wedding that costs more than a downpayment on a house feels completely asinine and foreign to me. With that in mind, I fully side with the financially smart dad in this next story, who would rather start his daughter and future son-in-law on a path of financial freedom instead of throwing them a lavish, one-day event.

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    via Minh Ann

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • AITAH for not wanting to pay $100k for a Princess Wedding that the Grooms parents want? So my daughter is getting married ...youngest of three. Our first daughter got married in 2021 and had a beautiful wedding at a rock bottom cost of $15k.
    via Livinggoodeveryday
  • Only 75 people came because it was during co id and every vendor had low pricing just because of the times. My first daughter was thrilled and very happy! Now the youngest is being talked into this princess wedding that
    via Livinggoodeveryday
  • actually is being pushed on her because the in-laws want a big splash....very formal over the top event. We originally explained to the girls that we would give each one the same amount for a wedding...Now with
    via Livinggoodeveryday
  • inflation that number has probably gone to $25k. AITAH for not wanting to pay for something I really don't want to do. I would rather give the newlyweds some extra $$ to help with a house down payment The grooms parents
    via Livinggoodeveryday
  • want the big formal expense. What do I do. My daughter says they will pay for it so let them. Not getting a good felling about all this.
    via Livinggoodeveryday
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    via Minh Ann

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • oldermom66 If they plan to play for every single expense and your daughter is willing to go along with it, let them have at it. What your daughter is going to find out is that she will have no say. Take whatever you were going to give them and give it to them as a gift after the wedding. You are NTA.
    via oldermom66
  • Junior_Statement_262 NTA. You made it clear to your kid how much you're willing to spend. if the Inlaws want fancy and say they'll pay for it, LET THEM!!
    via Junior_Statement_262
  • Selfpsycho If they want to waste their money let them. But they can't force you too. Save your money and help them buy a house. Its more meaningful anyway. NTA
    via Selfpsycho
  • imatroll12. NTA. That's all I have too say. There shouldn't be that much more to say
    via imatroll12
  • navedane NTA. $25k is already very generous. Your daughter and her fiancé should really think about what they want. And understand that if they let his parents fund an extravagant wedding, it's likely
    via navedane
  • going to add more stress, and his parents will definitely want control over most details, and your daughter will feel pressure to not let her own wishes (for her wedding) be heard if they're not aligned with the in-laws!
    via navedane
  • Hope they're mature enough and firm enough to establish well- communicated boundaries.
    via navedane
  • Dependent Lobster_18 NTA. I would just write her the check for the amount you intend to give her and anything beyond that the couple or the groom's parents get to cover.
    via Dependent_Lobster_18
  • NellyGracee Your daughter saying "they'll pay for it" sounds fishy. If the groom's parents wanna blow that kinda cash, let 'em, but don't feel obligated to match it. Stick to ur original plan, and offering a down payment is way more practical. Trust ur gut, this whole "princess wedding" thing sounds like a recipe for drama.
    via NellyGracee
  • Dizzy-Government-289 Maybe have a conversation with your daughter and tell her if this big wedding is what she truly wants and the in laws are willing to pay then by all means go for it. Tell her your concern is that it may get highjacked by the in laws
    via Dizzy-Government-289
  • and she may end up having no say especially in certain areas ie food choices, cake flavours etc. perhaps tell her you will pay for her dress so that she will have full control over that choice. Anything left from the budget after the dress you can gift to them towards a house. You're not the AH,
    via Dizzy-Government-289
  • Strange_Jackfruit_89 NTA. If they want it, they can pay for it. However, your daughter needs to think long and hard about this. Is
    via Strange_Jackfruit_89
  • she going to always give in to their demands/wishes? What happens if/when children come? What does your daughter and her future spouse want?
    via Strange_Jackfruit_89
  • NYCStoryteller NTA. Giving them $15K would be generous, IMHO. If she and her future in laws want a crazy expensive wedding, let them know that they're paying for it.
    via NYCStoryteller
  • Super-Feedback8500 If they want an expensive wedding, let them put forward the extra money. Your contribution is more than reasonable.
    via Super-Feedback8500

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